lessons in love

So i've been doin some thinkin lately...i know watch out right??...well, it started because we had to do this interview last night with the mother of a "medically fragile" child. Its always eye opening and slightly jarring when you try to put yourself in someone elses shoes and genuinely understand what they must go through each and every day. I would have to say it definately makes you reevaluate your life and the things you take for granted or worry too much over each day.
I don't even know yet what its like to be a mother, let alone what it must be like to be a mom and on top of it having to deal with the fear each day, that your child may not be here the next. So many things she said just tore my heart apart. I mean, here I am worrying about my next assignment, next test, what I'm going to do this weekend...anything on the long list of things I have for myself to do this week, and she's wondering when her next trip to the ER will be and will her daughter be able to come home? It was definately an enightening experience.
She spoke a lot about how wonderful people have been..how selfless and giving. All I can think is....I want to be that kind of person, I want to give myself to others because what else could really be more important than helping someone other than yourself?? Kinda makes the things I do everyday seem rather insignificant. Afternoons like that raise all the hard questions....like what made this famiy have this tradgedy?? And why am I so lucky that I haven't had to deal with something like this in my life? Why am I healthy and someone else isn't? I don't have the answers.
I do know that for the rest of my life I want nothing more than to work everyday to make things even the slightest bit better for someone else.
I started to think a lot about what and who is really important to me. If i was dealing with something so difficult and lifechanging, who would I call?? who would really listen and understand? Who could?
And then I thought about the people who have really been there for me when i needed them..you know the people who stick by you even when they don't understand, who you know will always be there. There's only a few of those in your life and you're lucky if there's more than one. There's friends, and then there are the friends who are closer than family, the ones you couldnt live without. I'm so thankful for those people in my life....the ones who coudlnt understand but didn't have to.
I guess the truth is..i can't ever understand what its like to be in this mother's situation...but i can learn from it....I can learn from her to cherish the time that i have with the people i love, and to be willing to constantly give of myself even to people that i barely know...because you never know what a huge difference it will make in their life...and you can't ever know how they feel. I'm just really thankful for the life that I have...for my family and for my friends....and for nights like that...for nights that make me want to be a better me....