I heart Sherwin Williams

Ok, so the guy at the paint store today was sooo nice. I went to Sherwin williams today (thinking it was the first of many stops at paint shops this afternoon). The guy walked me into the back where there were just stacks of paint cans and was so helpful. He helped me open the cans and try to find the colors I was looking for and asked about what I was using it for. When I told him about the project we're working on at an "adult medical daycare" center he told me that his grandfather is suffering from parkinson's disease and is in a nursing home and i could tell it breaks his heart to think about it. He was so sweet and encouraging.
Then he sold me this box of paint i had picked out for 8 dollars! I will definately tell people to go to Sherwin Williams from now on! Its nice to be reminded every now and then, that there really are good, caring people out there, people who are kinda and thoughtful not because they have to be, but because they choose to care about something or someone other than themselves. Good thought to end a long Monday on....

Mexi Thursdays!!

So this is just a lil sample of our mexi thurs...i'm tryin to learn how to use the video thingy on my camera...ha...good times!

lessons in love

So i've been doin some thinkin lately...i know watch out right??...well, it started because we had to do this interview last night with the mother of a "medically fragile" child. Its always eye opening and slightly jarring when you try to put yourself in someone elses shoes and genuinely understand what they must go through each and every day. I would have to say it definately makes you reevaluate your life and the things you take for granted or worry too much over each day.
I don't even know yet what its like to be a mother, let alone what it must be like to be a mom and on top of it having to deal with the fear each day, that your child may not be here the next. So many things she said just tore my heart apart. I mean, here I am worrying about my next assignment, next test, what I'm going to do this weekend...anything on the long list of things I have for myself to do this week, and she's wondering when her next trip to the ER will be and will her daughter be able to come home? It was definately an enightening experience.
She spoke a lot about how wonderful people have been..how selfless and giving. All I can think is....I want to be that kind of person, I want to give myself to others because what else could really be more important than helping someone other than yourself?? Kinda makes the things I do everyday seem rather insignificant. Afternoons like that raise all the hard questions....like what made this famiy have this tradgedy?? And why am I so lucky that I haven't had to deal with something like this in my life? Why am I healthy and someone else isn't? I don't have the answers.
I do know that for the rest of my life I want nothing more than to work everyday to make things even the slightest bit better for someone else.
I started to think a lot about what and who is really important to me. If i was dealing with something so difficult and lifechanging, who would I call?? who would really listen and understand? Who could?
And then I thought about the people who have really been there for me when i needed them..you know the people who stick by you even when they don't understand, who you know will always be there. There's only a few of those in your life and you're lucky if there's more than one. There's friends, and then there are the friends who are closer than family, the ones you couldnt live without. I'm so thankful for those people in my life....the ones who coudlnt understand but didn't have to.
I guess the truth is..i can't ever understand what its like to be in this mother's situation...but i can learn from it....I can learn from her to cherish the time that i have with the people i love, and to be willing to constantly give of myself even to people that i barely know...because you never know what a huge difference it will make in their life...and you can't ever know how they feel. I'm just really thankful for the life that I have...for my family and for my friends....and for nights like that...for nights that make me want to be a better me....

Crayons and Beginnings

Random Fact For Today:
(thanks to Kara)
The most senior crayon maker, Emerson Moser, retired after making 1.4 billion crayons for crayola. It was then that he revealed that he was actually colorblind.







So i've been thinkin a lot lately about beginnings....about how scary they are, and also about how rewarding and exciting they turn out to be looking back. Once I really think about it i can see looking back that there are many things I regret, many things I could have done differently or would change, and often I find myself hesistant in new beginnings because I am afraid I will make the mistakes of the past....however, of all the things, events, and decisions I regret, none of them were beginnings. I regret the middle of some things, and there are many endings I regret...but no beginnings.
Why then, after all the experience and years of beginning after beginninig, am I still terrified of any new thing? And honestly, being scared, nervous, excited, isn't that half the fun?? Moving to a new place, beginning a new chapter in life, meeting and learning to understand new people, isn't that what makes life exciting?? Isn't it in fact the beginnings that force us to change and grow? I think that perhaps I am in need of a change of attitude towards this whole area of "beginnings". I say over and over that I dislike the uncertainty and anxiousness that comes with beginnings, the fear of failure, of making a leap and having no ground to stand on and falling. In fear of sounding terribly corny....how else though do you learn to fly? How else can we learn anything but by making the huge mistakes, and changing because of them.
This could be applied to so many areas in my life, so many times that I'm afraid to jump in and give it my best shot...I hold back because i'm scared that i'll be wrong, embarrass myself, do the wrong thing....but it seems to me...the only thing worse than doing the wrong thing is doing NOTHING. I don't want to be that girl. I want to be the one who tries...who puts her whole heart...not just a piece...into everything she does....and lays it all out for anyone and everyone to see, even if it results in embarassment and failure, because at this point, what do i have to lose??
I have everything to gain. I want nothing more than to take a chance, a leap, do the thing I'm afraid of...quit hiding behind insecurity. How many opportunities have I already missed? How many chances to learn and experience things that i may never have the chance to learn and experience again.
I guess really I'm challenging myself right now to "grow a pair"....we'll see how this goes!




You must do the thing you think you cannot do.
Eleanor Roosevelt

The ultimate reason which deals with beginnings remains locked in a seed. There it lies, the simplest fact of the universe and at the same time, the one which calls for faith rather than reason.
unknown

Adding Back in the FUN!

Introduction:
There are 24 hours in a day, eight of which I am hopefully sleeping. That leaves 16 hours. On an average day, 7 of the remaining hours are spent in class. That leaves nine hours. 3 hours for meals. Six hours then are left for homework, studying, and leisure. Since we are given copius amounts of work and studying to do, atleast three of these hours should be removed/set aside for that. Also, one hour should be removed for "zoning out", which we all do. That leaves two hours. Now i'm willing to bet the remaining two hours are spent in some way, shape, or form on relationships with males. We're either calling them, gabbing about them, trying not to call them, crying over them, trying to decide whether to answer when they call, spending time with them, wondering why they haven't called yet, getting all cute cause we think we might see them, wondering if they will EVER call.....AND there's more....
If we don't have one (a male) then we're scheming about how to get one, or making plans, or fantasizing about one we'll never have (aka "Dr. McDreamy"). And then there are those of you, you know who you are, for whom one, is never enough....and we should multiply the number of hours spent each day by the number of men hours are spent on...as you can imagine, this adds up.....
That my fellow female friends, is why this study was not only neccessary but imperative.

Data
(data was obtained over a nine hour period from 8am-5pm)
Quantitative:
# of times I was asked a question pertaining to relationships with males: 10
# of times I caught myself on the verge of mentioning a male/relationship without being cued: 8
Total # of possible conversations about males: 18
Qualitative:
(thoughts and comments generated as a result of experiment)

I think its pathetic because if you want to talk about someone, then do it, moderation is key"
~Christina

Basically, everyday I talk about school, wedding planning,a nd my family.
~Rebecca (aka Raw Dawg)

I wanna live in a place where soul meets body
~Laura

That sounds too much like school
~Rebecca (aka Raw Dawg)

You need to find a new hobby, something new to do with your time...something that no one else does..just you.
~Kara

Analysis:
Due to small sample size (me), results may not be reliable, but are however believed to be valid. Though not standardized, the experiment did serve its purpose, which was to explore and enlighten individuals (mainly me) concerning the amount of time and conversation devoted to and consumed by talk of relationships.

Conclusions:
I managed to survive a day "subtracting" relationships and, in fact, was in a rather amiable mood for most of the day. I avoided discussing relationships, managed to get quite a lot done, and I believe that subtracting relationships for a day was a good idea. However, considering all of this, I have arrived at the conclusion that it (amt of time spent discussing relationships) may be a manifestation or effect, rather than a cause in itself. I now hypothesize that perhaps, the problem should be addressed not from the standpoint of "subtracting" the relationships alone, but instead by "adding back in the fun". So, in continuing "research" I plan to "add back in the fun". Current plan follows (plan is tentative and may undergo several revisions)

Plan for "Adding Back In The Fun"

1. I plan to develop and cultivate atleast one NEW interest unrelated to relationships with males.

2. Each day I plan to select a "topic" for conversation that is not related to, dating, males, going out, weddings, school, also including all areas of medicine and occupational therapy.

3. I plan to learn atleast one new fact each day that does not fall into any categories stated above.

4. I plan to make a list of everything I'm interested in that has nothing to do with above mentioned categories.

5. I plan to look for NEW leisure/recreation activities other than eating, hanging out, or meeting people out while eating and hanging out.


Suggestions:
Having made these goals.... any suggestions for "topics" are welcome :-)

Further Studies:
If you would like to participate in future studies, please contact me at johnsoap@musc.edu.
Thank you for your interest and time.




If we are incapable of finding peace within ourselves, it is pointless to search elsewhere.
Francois de la Rouchefacauld

Experiment in relationship subtraction

STart Time 8:00 am

The goal: Today I will determine how long I can go without mentioning any relationship, past, present, or those imagined in the future.

Purpose: To determine what other interests and motivations make up my daily life. (hopefully there are many!)

Data Collection: I will be recording each time someone asks me about a relationship or I begin to bring up a relationship and stop myself.

Analysis: I will then reflect on the data in my next entry

Conclusion: will follow in next entry

minus the relationships

So, I decided to try this whole blog thing....mainly because shelly-bean (aka Buttercup) does it ALL the time..she's like "blog queen" if you know what i mean, and due to the fact that she's basically glued to the thing 24/7 I'm thinkin there must be somethin good about it..so i figured hey...give it a try right?


Someone recently (as in a few days ago) asked me to describe myself...or wait...tell them about my life...and surprisingly I found I had very little to say...how very sad is that?? Until two days ago, I never really thought of myself as a boring person...but perhaps, just maybe I have turned into this awful, horrible, thing they call.....an "adult". I'm really seriously wondering if its possible that talking about my life is about as interesting as watching paint dry. Little miss life of the party turns out to be a complete bore. So now i'm reevaluating. Where the hell along the way did I forget who I was? And, to make matters worse....I found myself describing the last 5 or 6 years of my life in terms of the "relationships" I've been in. What was I thinking? Do I really define my self-worth and being by which immature shallow male I happened to be attached to at the time? How insecure could I be?? So, needless to say, I've gained a new interest in defining my life not simply by the "relationships gone bad".
Minus the relationships then...I'm gonna try this again....
So....I am 22 and that sounds really OLD!! I'm currently in grad school studying to be an OT!! I spent my four years in undergrad trying to "discover" exactly who I wanted to be and what I wanted to do with my life. I am still changing and growing each day but the things I do know about myself are these.....I love people..point blank. I like the challenge there is in getting to know, and appreciate the people that others don't take the time to notice. I like the idea of learning new things each day for the rest of my life....life lessons from those whose experience is far different than mine. I like to celebrate the small victories, to be reminded that I should be thankful for the things I take for granted everyday. I like a challenge...I love that feeling you get when you're terrified to try something, but you do it anyway, and really like the idea of sacrifice, of giving a part of yourself, not for your own gain, but simply because you care about someone else, whether they are deserving or not.
I like to work hard and then play hard. I want people to know they can count on me to be there when it matters. I love my family and I'm so thankful that they've taught me what is truly important in life....that it really isn't what you get, but what you give that makes all the difference.
I drink coffee like my grandpa...black...every morning. I've got a little country in me..just enough to know i'd rather be fishin than most things I can think of. I like the way the sun feels on your skin in the afternoon when you've been out all day waitin for the big one to bite. I like to sit down by the lake and tell my thoughts to the wind. I'm not above havin a good cry every now and then....sometimes you just need to get it all out. Summer is my favorite season...i'd rather be barefoot than to wear shoes any day. I love music...it reminds me what it feels like to be alive....there's a song for any occasion, any mood, any time in life. The message of music is universal, its not a language, or specific to a culture, its a universal message of feeling, of hope...and I can't imagine my life without it.
I'm as nice as the next girl but when it comes to something that really matters to me I'm as stubborn as they come. I like someone who will stand up to me, but knows enough to back off when I'm havin a rough day. I worry entirely too much about things that really don't matter...but in the end...I get things done. I'm not one of those people that has the rest of my life planned out. I've never imagined where I would live, or who with for that matter. I've never dreamed about my wedding or even pictured it in my mind. I couldn't tell you where i'll be in ten years...cause right now I don't want to know. I like to take things as they come....I like to see what life is going to throw at me next and deal with it right then and there. I've done absolutely nothing to deserve the wonderful life that I have and I try to remind myself of that often. I'm about as lucky as a girl can be and I have some supergreat friends.
Maybe I'm not so boring...I don't know u tell me.....and I guess maybe there's more to me than the past....right now..i'm pretty excited about the future..whatever its going to be..